and I am feeling blue

Its Monday night.

Half past ten.

I am home. Just me.

Haven't seen my boyfriend for 3 days...

Hasn't called, texted, emailed, nothing, nada, zilch...

Last 4 hours of my time were spent waiting for him.

Pathetic you say? Yes, maybe a little.

Did we have a fight? No. He just doesn't care.

No, let me rephrase...he just doesn't care enough...

I agree, that I am probably being a drama queen, but lately I am asking myself, is it worth it?

The hours spent waiting, worrying, pleading, asking, demanding, explaining, looking at the wall during night, hiding the tears or crying silently to the pillow?

If not, when is the time to declare defeat, minimize losses and move on?

To look for someone else, who will care... To find someone, to hand you a Kleenex and let you hug him instead of the pillow even at 3 a.m., to bring you flowers, just because, to... (okay I let myself loose a little:)

And it is worth it, shouldn't it feel a little different?

Happier maybe?

I am just getting started.

My name is Sophie. Sophie Cruz.

I am blonde, blue eyed crazy person, who is by a chance a woman/girl/female - pick whatever suits you- and I have decided to write a novel.

Yes, you heard me.

I will write a novel.

SOON.

Probably not too soon, since I know almost nothing about writing novels, or writing anything to be more precise.

But you can bet, I am going to fing out!